ABC’s of Transforming an Upset

Your Anxiety is not you.  It’s a series of stories, meanings, experiences all from your past that get all jumbled up in your mind and start to look and feel as if they are all true.  The things you tell yourself and the meaning you bring to everything to make it fit into your perception of what’s right and what’s wrong in your world,  can have you spiraling down the rabbit hole before you can say Alice, Where are we? 

I call that the anxiety spiral.  Making decisions and choices from that spiral rarely turn out to be in our best interest.  At times, we think the rush of adrenaline feeds our inspiration and motivation until we crash – crash hard into depressed mood Anxiety’s close friend .  It’s a vicious cycle of bursts of I can do this until the brain says , no you can’t one to many times and shuts itself down _ doldrums – to get you back to fighting shape again.  To much fight and flight activation and you end up exhausted, defeated and unhappy.  

Try this method instead.

A: Acknowledge the upset you are having. For example, I’m upset because I didn’t get the job promotion I applied for. 

B: Instead of going down the anxiety spiral of thoughts that don’t serve you like, I guess I’m not good enough for the role. They obviously don’t think I’m a good candidate.   Why do I even bother sometimes. I should have never applied. 

Take a break and breathe. Literally take one minute to  inhale and exhale. 

C: Choose from the breath. Never from the spiral of anxious thoughts that are not true but occur as if they are.